Congratulations! You've mastered the C major scale and can strum a G chord without wincing. You're officially a musician, and it's time the world knew it.
- The instrument as fashion accessory. Never leave home without it, even if it's a tuba. Bonus points for oversized cases and obnoxiously branded straps.
- The "accidental" serenade. Drop your instrument case in crowded spaces for a symphony of scattered sheet music and embarrassed groans.
- The cryptic social media post. Post vague lyrics or obscure music theory references and watch your followers try to decipher your brilliance.
- The open mic ambush. Sign up for every open mic within 50 miles. Prepare a 45-minute set of experimental free jazz, especially if the venue is a coffee shop known for acoustic folk.
- The unsolicited jam session. Corner strangers at parties and launch into a passionate rendition of "Wonderwall." Refuse to take no for an answer.
- The merch maven. Design and wear your own band T-shirts, even if the band is you and your cat.
- The soundcheck symphony. Spend hours soundchecking in public parks, with the amp at eleven, testing every microphone with ear-splitting shrieks.
- The know-it-all. Correct everyone's music trivia, including your grandma's memories of Elvis.
- The genre-bender. Insist your music is a fusion of polka, death metal and Gregorian chant.
- The humble brag. Mention your upcoming gig at a local dive bar as if you're headlining Coachella.
Follow these steps and within a month you'll be a local legend, a public nuisance, or the subject of a noise complaint, which in this town counts as both.
