A bizarre trend inspired by Orthodox Pastafarianism is sweeping the Goblin Nation, leaving a trail of scalded goblins in its wake. Devout followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are immersing themselves in boiling water in a misguided attempt to "become one with the noodle."
Emergency rooms across the nation are overflowing.
"It's a complete disaster!" said Dr. Gloopglop, who has added the Goblin Burn Unit to her duties at the Health Department. "We're running out of burn ointment, bandages and even aloe vera plants. One patient asked us to strain him."
The Goblin Council of Elders has issued a public safety warning.
"We understand the desire for spiritual fulfillment," said Elder Gnarltooth, barely audible over the yelping from the neighboring burn ward. "But boiling water is for cooking noodles, not for bathing in them!"
Rigatonia's High Priest Gurgleblaster has distanced the faith from the trend, calling it a "misinterpretation" of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's teachings.
"The FSM preaches love, tolerance and the consumption of delicious pasta dishes," Gurgleblaster said. "Nowhere in the Gospel does it say anything about scalding yourself. You add salt to the water. You do not add yourself to the water."
The trend keeps gaining momentum, fueled by social media challenges. GNN has obtained footage of goblins lining up outside communal pots of boiling water, waiting their turn to be "baptized." Dr. Gloopglop reports the most devout are getting in for eight to ten minutes, and the Reformed congregations insist on eleven.
