Entengoblinn's has announced it is discontinuing its "Little Bits" line and replacing it with a colossal new product, the "Big Bite," a single, monstrous muffin, cookie or brownie designed for the goblin appetite for the sweet and the excessive.
"We've listened to our goblin consumers," said a spokesperson, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being trampled by a herd of sugar-crazed goblins. "They want bigger, bolder, more indulgent snacks. The Big Bite is our answer."
The flavors:
- Mega Mushroom Muffin. A colossal muffin full of fermented mushroom chunks, chocolate chips and a drizzle of questionable slime.
- Colossal Cookie Chaos. A gargantuan chocolate chip cookie with extra-large chocolate chunks, nuts and the occasional stray hair, a goblin delicacy.
- Behemoth Brownie Bonanza. A monstrous brownie, rich and fudgy, topped with whipped cream and crushed goblin teeth.
Some health-conscious goblins worry about the Big Bite's effect on their already doubtful waistlines. Most have taken it up with open arms and mouths.
"Finally, a snack that satisfies my goblin hunger," said Grungle, former CEO of the Goblin Gaming Group and a self-described junk food aficionado. "I could eat a whole box of Little Bits and still feel peckish. One Big Bite and I'm ready for a nap in a pile of gold coins."
The Big Bite is on sale at all Goblin Groceries and convenience stores across Mudwick Isle. Entengoblinn's is reported to be working on a delivery service using trained carrier pigeons to bring the Big Bite directly to goblins' caves.
