GNN EXCLUSIVE

Goblin Gamblers Paid in Smoke and Mirrors as Tax Service Unmasks the GGG's 95% RTP

Published: October 21, 2025 at 1:15 PM

The Goblin Gaming Group's (GGG) claim that its lever-pulling "volunteers" are fairly paid has been shredded by a report from the Goblin Tax Service (GTS).

The GGG pays its gamblers in the form of a 95% "return to player" (RTP): for every coin wagered, 95 copper back on average. The GTS points out that this is not a wage. Every spin keeps 5%, the 5% compounds, and over an evening it eats the whole purse. Goblins are not being paid to power the GGG's lair. They are paying for the privilege.

"This is predatory gambling," said Grungle Gristle, GNN's gambling columnist, now on spin 6,100 of his gift card's rollover. "They sell the illusion of winning and bleed goblins dry over time. I've done the math. I'm still spinning."

Protests have broken out at GGG establishments, with demonstrators demanding restitution for the lost wages of countless gamblers. The Goblin Council of Elders has launched an official inquiry.

The GGG has dismissed the report as fake news and insists its gamblers are happy and well compensated. As proof, it says, they keep coming back.

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