Anonymous insiders have handed GNN leaked documents, cryptic messages and several blurry photographs that appear to support the wildest theories about the scandal. Among their claims:
- Secret rituals. The Council of Elders drinks fermented mushroom smoothies and performs interpretive dance under the full moon.
- Hidden tunnels. A network of passages beneath GNN headquarters, used by the mole people, possibly for cheese smuggling.
- Mind control. The missing cheese wheel is not missing. It is a sentient being that controls the minds of unsuspecting goblins.
- Interdimensional portals. A portal in the Council chamber leads to a parallel universe where goblins rule supreme and have perfected cauliflower ale.
Online forums are ablaze. Some goblins believe the elders are a secret cabal plotting to overthrow the government, which they already are. Others believe the mole people are benevolent creatures trying to warn us of the apocalypse.
"I knew it!" said Gnargleboggle the Skeptical. "The truth is out there, and it's weirder than we imagined!"
GNN cannot verify any of these claims, but is committed to bringing you all sides of the story, especially the weird ones. The blurry photographs have been sent for analysis. Two of them are of cheese.
