GNN is reporting record viewership as the nation follows the prophecy, the missing cheese wheel and the mole people under our headquarters. The dwarven-toilet scandal is in the dustbin of history, two days after it broke.
"It's a soap opera with more explosions and less personal hygiene," said Grungle Flankmire, an avid viewer. "I can't get enough."
The timing has raised questions. The new scandal conveniently buried the corruption allegations against the Council.
"It's all too convenient," muttered Gnargleboggle the Skeptical, the conspiracy theorist. "The elders planted that cheese wheel themselves and hired actors to play the mole people."
GNN denies any involvement in fabricating the scandal. "We report the facts as we find them," said Grubgork, GNN's lead correspondent. "If the facts are more entertaining than a reality show, that's a bonus for our viewers."
Real or manufactured, the scandal has cemented GNN as the nation's source for all things sensational. The mole people have not commented, but staff report hearing applause from under the floor.
