The Goblin Gazette is the Council's official newsletter, delivered by GoblinLife.org to every inbox under penalty of mushroom confiscation, every full moon or whenever someone remembers. GNN reprints this issue's highlights.
Grungle's Corner
"This week I narrowly escaped a pixie ambush, found a stash of fermented mushrooms in the Council chambers and accidentally launched a rocket into a neighboring kingdom. Who needs diplomacy when you have explosives?"
Goblin Gossip
Disgraced GoblinLife.org CFO Skimsworth M. Bezzleschmit has reportedly fled to a remote island with a crew of mermaids and a suitcase of gold. Council staff are threatening to strike for higher wages in shiny pebbles and belly-button lint.
Ask the Oracle
Will I ever find true love? "The stars say probably not. But you have your mushrooms."
Goblin Job Abyss
Wanted: troll wrangler with a strong stomach to mediate disputes between warring troll factions. Benefits include unlimited garbage-disposal access and earplugs.
Deals
Half off your first month of the Subscription to Nothing: pay half as much for exactly the same nothing. Invest in the Goblin Embezzlement Trust Fund and get a commemorative "I Lost My Life Savings" certificate.
The neighboring kingdom has asked for its rocket back.
