The state religion has not brought unity. The sauce showdown has hardened into a schism.
The Orthodox Pastafarians, led by High Priest Gnarly, insist on pirate dress at all times, semolina pasta only, elaborate twirling rituals and ganja oil in the sacred sauce.
The Reformed Pastafarians, led by the chef Gnarfles, say the faith is about humor, tolerance and every noodle under heaven, ramen and mac and cheese included, with basil in the sauce. The Monster, they argue, would rather his followers enjoy life and spread carbs.
The Reformed have begun moving to the neighboring island of Rigatonia, where they keep their own dietary laws. Mudwick Isle briefly renamed itself "Pasta Prima" in response, for about an afternoon, until the signs ran out.
The two sides now trade passive-aggressive memes, sabotage each other's kitchens and occasionally hurl meatballs across the Blurgarian Ocean. The meatballs mostly land in the ocean, where the fish have converted.
