Titusville poker enthusiast Snargle, self-proclaimed unluckiest player alive and still out $60 on a Dragon's Breath investment, has released a study confirming what many players have long suspected: the best poker hand is always whatever your opponent is holding.
"I've been tracking my hands for years," Snargle said, "and the data is undeniable. My pocket aces always run into kings. My flopped sets always get rivered by a full house. Don't get me started on flushes."
The study, built on extensive hand histories and countless hours of self-loathing, has met with widespread agreement from the poker community.
"I once folded quad jacks preflop," said one player, "because I knew my opponent had quad aces. Turns out he had quad kings. It's just science."
The research is expected to change the way poker is played.
"I'm considering open-folding every hand from now on," Snargle said. "Or maybe I'll take up knitting. The worst thing that can happen there is a dropped stitch."
