Okay, so I finally did it. I deleted all my social media apps, vowing to break free from the endless scroll. Now: crickets. What am I supposed to do with all this free time? Seriously, someone help me. Not in the comments. I can't see the comments.
- Stare at the wall: It has a nice texture. If I stare long enough I might unlock a hidden message from the universe. So far it says "eggshell."
- Rearrange my furniture: Again. This time I'll find the feng shui configuration that solves all my problems. Or I'll end up with a sore back and the couch in the hallway.
- Talk to my plants: They haven't unfollowed me yet, and they're great listeners. The fern has opinions.
- Count the rice in my pantry: It's educational and time-consuming. I might discover a new mathematical formula. I'm at 4,112.
- Learn a new language: Now is my chance to master French or Spanish. Or to confuse myself and everyone around me in both.
- Bake something: I'm not a culinary whiz, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Michelin star or kitchen fire, and I can't post either.
- Go for a walk: Nature is supposed to be calming. I might stumble on a hidden treasure or a portal to another dimension. I'll probably just get lost and have to ask a stranger for directions, out loud, with my mouth.
- Read a book: Remember those dusty things with pages? I'll rediscover the joy of a good story, or fall asleep after two pages.
- Take up knitting: I'll make a scarf for my cat. Or a tangled mess of yarn and a frustrated feline.
- Scream into the void: Because sometimes that's all you can do, and the void, unlike my followers, is always there.
At least I'm not scrolling anymore. That's got to count for something. Right? Right? Does anyone know if this counts?
