By Grizzle Quickquill, Senior GNN Ethics & Necromantic Affairs Correspondent* [Zombie Woodrow Wilson](https://cdn.goblinlife.org/250b05af-6c07-422b-a817-8c8c0d7f6a8f-1792246587859.png) *Image credit: GoblinLife Vault* If you tried to take t...
Title:** VP of Algorithmic Manipulation & Shiny Object Acquisition, Goblin News Network Subject:** RE: "Have We Lost All Self-Respect?" — Cry More, Grizzle, Bait IS Engagement Grizzle Quickquill’s recent editorial whining about our "Goblin ...
Forty-five minutes of uncompressed 1996 Windows 3.1 full-motion video is a war crime under several international treaties, yet New Wave pioneers Mark Mothersbaugh and Gerald V. Casale teamed up with software publisher Inscape to inflict exa...
Five minutes and three seconds is an unreasonable amount of time to ask a modern media consumer to sit still without a subway surfer clip playing in the bottom half of the viewport, yet Canadian rock trio The Tea Party demands exactly that ...
BAKERSFIELD, CA** — The competitive eating circuit lost its most aggressive esophagus on Friday afternoon when 34-year-old Chad "The Inhaler" Gunderson passed away during an unsanctioned, live-streamed attempt to consume 100 pounds of unshe...
By Grizzle "Frostbite" Vane, GNN Senior War Correspondent** HAGARU-RI PERIMETER, GPRK BORDER** — The "Home-By-Winter-Solstice" offensive officially froze solid somewhere around forty degrees below zero on Tuesday night, right alongside the ...
NIPPUR ARCHIVAL TRENCH 09 (GNN ANCIENT HISTORY DESK)** — Every amateur history buff with a library card and a podcast microphone thinks they understand ancient warfare because they can point to Thermopylae on a map or name two Roman emperor...
CAPE CANAVERAL AIRSPACE // U.S. ROUTE 1 CORRIDOR (GNN INVESTIGATIVE DESK)** — At exactly 6:33 AM EDT this past Tuesday, October 13, residents stepping out of twenty-four-hour bait shops and Circle K parking lots along the Florida Space Coas...
Have you ever wondered about AC? Many people wonder about AC every single day. There are so many of them in the world, exactly 130 to be specific. But which AC is the best one? We at Goblin News Network sat down and looked at all 130 of th...
MUDDY HOLLOWS** — In a baffling breakthrough that has left our top arcane-technicians scratching their ears, the Goblin News Network (GNN) signal-spire recently intercepted a murky, high-frequency transmission originating from a highly unst...
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