Like many of you, I learned on Saturday, October 17, 2026 that “This song was scientifically designed to soothe babies — and 470 million streams prove it works.” Like many of you, I immediately thought about the hedge on the east side of my property, which the Homeowners Association has asked me to trim to a height of 41 inches.
Some readers will ask what my hedge has to do with the news. I would ask them what the news has done for my hedge. The answer, I have found, is nothing, and I think that tells us something about the news.
The Association's letter, dated three weeks ago and delivered by hand at 2:30 p.m., describes the hedge as "non-compliant." I have been called many things. I have never been called that by a letter that was also, I could not help noticing, folded unevenly.
I have written to the Bureau of Weights, Measures and Grudges twice. The first reply thanked me for my letter. The second reply thanked me for my second letter and enclosed a copy of the first reply.
When the history of this week is written, it will be about the news. I accept that. All I ask is a footnote, about the hedge.
The hedge is currently 43 inches.
The writer lives in Mudflat Commons, on the east side of a hedge.
