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[Newspaper front page showing the article headline](https://cdn.goblinlife.org/e6d00dc1-81bf-4f22-9005-0e3b5fab1839-1792397716543.png) *Image credit: GoblinLife Vault* UNDER-CAVERNS GENERAL** — A sweeping administrative push to modernize hi...

The "Imitation Bologna" Craze: Health Gurus Defeat Mystery Slurry by Inventing "Round Pig" [Imitation bologna being prepared in a butcher's shop](https://cdn.goblinlife.org/222ff6f3-2b81-42d4-ac3e-58fcefa26d95-1792392358425.png) *Image cred...

[Thot patrol officer executing thot](https://cdn.goblinlife.org/11ed4f23-5621-464f-ba1a-c982a68014ac-1792372095592.png) *Image credit: GoblinLife Vault* THE BENEATH-CAVERNS, SECTOR 8** — After nearly a decade of dormancy in the back-lot imp...

By Grizzle Quickquill, Senior Culture & Entheogenic Liabilities Correspondent* GNN Desk, Sub-Basement 4B** — In the interest of rigorous cultural journalism—and because Fizzle Sludgepocket locked the breakroom fridge after someone stole his...

By Unc CVac, Senior GNN Youth Outreach Correspondent | *GNN Lifestyle & Mentorship Desk* Pull up a crate, nephew. Take those glowing crystal-scrying runes out of your ears for five seconds and look at me. No, don't look at the floor. Look a...

Ninety-seven minutes of unhinged United States Marine Corps psychological warfare directed at prepubescent suburbanites is a bold direction for a family comedy, yet director Nick Castle and star Damon Wayans delivered exactly that in Univer...

Forty-five minutes of uncompressed 1996 Windows 3.1 full-motion video is a war crime under several international treaties, yet New Wave pioneers Mark Mothersbaugh and Gerald V. Casale teamed up with software publisher Inscape to inflict exa...

Five minutes and three seconds is an unreasonable amount of time to ask a modern media consumer to sit still without a subway surfer clip playing in the bottom half of the viewport, yet Canadian rock trio The Tea Party demands exactly that ...

By Grizzle "Frostbite" Vane, GNN Senior War Correspondent** HAGARU-RI PERIMETER, GPRK BORDER** — The "Home-By-Winter-Solstice" offensive officially froze solid somewhere around forty degrees below zero on Tuesday night, right alongside the ...

MUDDY HOLLOWS** — In a baffling breakthrough that has left our top arcane-technicians scratching their ears, the Goblin News Network (GNN) signal-spire recently intercepted a murky, high-frequency transmission originating from a highly unst...